One of my good friends Paige leaves for Paris tomorrow and I wanted to quickly send her a message about things I have learned from being abroad and things that I would want to pass on to someone else. I decided to post the list here for anyone who is thinking of studying abroad or for anyone who knows someone about to go abroad. And so here it is, my advice for living or studying abroad.
1. Journal or blog. This can be for your eyes only-- no one needs to see it (unless you want them to). You are going to want to look back and remember your experience. Being able to look back on what you felt, what you saw, who you met. Those are the stories you are going to want to remember. I have done this on every single one of my trips (Denmark, Dominican Republic, and now South Africa), and it is truly one of the coolest souvenirs. It allows you to process your experience and helps you to remember funny stories to share with people back home. It is so much fun to look back on this at the end of your trip. You will see that the things you were so nervous about, now you dont even think twice about them. It is a fun way to see how much you've grown and the things you have experienced.
2. Take a TON of pictures. You honestly can never take enough. Granted you may not need 15 photos of the awesome latte you had at lunch while you overlooked the ocean, but at least this way you can pick your favorite one. (Please do not be the person who goes abroad and posts 20 pictures of the same tree, building, person, sunset. That's great if you want to keep all 20 on your computer, but I am more than ok with seeing one, two at max).
3. Go out of your comfort zone. You have an amazing opportunity to learn about a brand new culture and country, take advantage of it. Go out and talk to the locals or go out to coffee at a close cafe by yourself. Why not?
4. NEVER miss an opportunity to go out in order to sleep or study. You do not want to look back on your experience and think "wow, I am so glad I was so well rested on that trip". That is boring. As stated you have been given an opportunity to experience new things, meet new people-- DO IT. Go for a picnic in a park, stay up all night watching the stars, go to a club on a Monday.
5. Still talk to people back home, but don't let it become a priority. Everyone will still be here when you get back. Shoot a quick message or email to your family and close friends, and then go have fun. After all, you didn't go abroad to talk to people back home. Also you will have much better stories to tell if you actually did things. Conversations get boring pretty quickly if all you've done is sit in your room facebook chatting your roommates.
6. Spend money on silly things and eat really good food. You have the rest of your life to work and make money. Relax and spend it. Don't leave with any regrets.
7. (Note: This one is for students traveling with a group). Get to know the people in your group. There may be some really awesome folks. On the same note, if someone is being a negative Nancy, don't hang out with them. Abroad is your experience. This isn't the time to keep giving the same person multiple chances (as harsh as this may sound). Be civil to them, but surround yourself with people who will enhance your experience, not dampen it. Also, talk with people in your group about your experience. I can guarantee that someone else is feeling the exact same thing, or at the very least, they can sympathize and help you process it. Abroad is a time that culture shock and crazy epiphanies happen, don't keep them to yourself!
8. Take the good and the bad. No one's abroad experience is perfect, and if they tell you it is, they're lying. There will be some things that you hate or maybe a bad experience, but that is part of living in a new country. Don't let the small things ruin the bigger picture.
9. Safety needs to be a top priority at all times. While most of my experience is within South Africa, this is definitely a universal thing. In my experience, it is when you get lazy that things happen. Always keep two eyes open and make sure not to get extremely drunk at bars. It is wicked easy to spot an American and that is what perps are looking for. Walk confidently and always act like you know where you are going. Please don't be that person who is clutching their purse so tightly and are acting like every person you are passing is going to attack you. Not only to you allow yourself to be easily identified as an easy target, but it can be extremely insulting (especially here in SA). Just use common sense (aka don't walk alone at night). Also NEVER go to an ATM alone. The buddy system is your best friend. Finally, let people know where you are. If you are going for a walk, leave a note. Or if you're going away for a weekend, let someone know.
10. Ladies, being an American woman will attract some unwanted attention, be careful of this. While it may be extremely flattering, many men abroad think it is a big accomplishment to "hook-up" with an American woman (I have talked to friends studying abroad all over the globe...it is the same thing everywhere). Again, don't assume everyone is out to get you, but be aware of this.
11. Some people will hate you simply because you're American. Let's face it, our country has done some things that many people in other countries do not agree with. And unfortunately, many of these people like to associate any American they meet with the acts of our government. One of my friends here's home university told her that going abroad is an opportunity to either break or reinforce stereotypes about Americans. This is an opportunity to be an ambassador for your country. How you represent yourself will leave an impression. For some people, you may be the first American they have ever met and they will form an opinion off of you. You can either show them that all Americans are not self-centered and that we can be open to new ideas and cultures, or you can prove the stereotypes right. Let your actions speak louder than your words. Going abroad is an awesome opportunity to give people in other countries a chance to reevaluate their opinions of us, or it can be an opportunity to prove them right. The choice is yours, but I would suggest proving them wrong. Remember that other Americans will be there after you, and that the kid who sits next to you in history may be the next Prime Minister.
12. The secret to having the best experience: being open and asking questions. By realizing that your way isn't the only way, you allow yourself to be open to the experience. Once this happens, there is the potential for you to learn more than you ever thought was possible. You can learn about other religions, cultures, new cooking tips, the world is your oyster. Also don't be afraid to ask questions. What I have experienced is that people are not offended when you ask them a question as long as it is in an honest way. People can tell when you are being rude or condescending. They can also tell when you are genuinely curious and want to learn more about them. People love to share their stories if they feel that it is a safe space to do so. Go out of your way to say good morning to your barista or the woman at the bookstore. You never know what you can learn from them.
13. Don't just leave your experience as a cool memory or as a good story. Try to find ways of integrating what you have learned with your life back home. What good is having this experience if you do nothing with it. One of the Jesuits at BC said, "the sole reason for learning is to give it away, and in doing so only then can you keep it to stay". What is so cool is that there is no one way to do this. For example, I have decided to use my blog as a way of sharing my experiences here in South Africa. I try to share the things that I have learned so that others who have not been here can still gain something from my experience. The way I see it is that I am not doing this community, my experience, or myself justice if I just keep what I have learned and experienced to myself. So go abroad, learn a lot, and then bring it back and share it. Teach others about what you learn. PLEASE be careful that it does not come across as "well when I was abroad...". That attitudes tends to be accompanied by an air of superiority, whether intentional or not. Find ways of working in your experience so that others can learn without feeling like you are belittling them.
Obviously everyone's experience is unique and there is no perfect concoction of do's and don'ts for going abroad. This has just been what I have learned in my experiences.
A note for students going abroad. When you are talking to people back home, try not to undervalue their experiences. I was talking to my close friend here, Jenna, about this yesterday. When you are talking to friends back home, most of this will say that nothing is going on back home and they only want to hear about your trip (cough cough journaling helps you to remember your best stories). Or, they will tell you about what is going on back home and it is hard to make yourself care. For example, two of my friends were fighting over the same guy all semester. It was so easy for me to dismiss this and tell them that there were bigger problems like the HIV epidemic in South Africa. However, it is important to remember that everyones experiences have value, no matter how silly they seem. The quickest way to ruin friendships abroad is to stop caring about things back home. No matter how petty they seem, remember if you were back home, they would be huge. Just because you have seen new things does not mean you get to dismiss the problems of others. Remember that your friends are supporting you abroad, make sure to return the support.
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